#but ive always thought about the scene at the end of episode 3 that montage that reveals that max is cursed

[demadogs]

just saw someone say theyre not gonna watch the trailer for s5 and just go in completely blind and god thats so insane i wish i had the will power to do that bc i know it would be so cool but theres no way in fucking hell id be able to hold back

[sibylsleaves]

Helloooo defend in place/mayday anon :) sad to report I did not finish my s4+s5 watch/rewatch this weekend (tall task in hindsight plus anirudh tweets dropped right before I was about to start jinx of all episodes lol) BUT I did finish up to 5x10 which means I got to defend in place yayyy! General s5 thoughts 1. Watched ghost stories for the first time and its not nearly as bad as I thought it would be (although 618 and 710 didnt exist when this seemed to be consensus worst ep. So). I get how this ep might be hard to watch on a weekly basis but its pretty fine while binging and also features crucial henren/karen lore like … also noooo way chim really said he was going to bring buck near death, revive him with his paramedic skills and then kill him. Did the writers know. Lmao. 2. Taylor kelly stuff is not nearly as bad as I remember it from what I had watched. Its just painfully obvious her and buck should be friends and not even because their physical chemistry is outright bad just their dynamic feels super friend-ish. And they put all that development time into taylor when they should have developed bucktaylor instead, like how karen was developed after henren, for example. Bucktaylor ily scene still hits like nails on a chalkboard though. God forbid we have to live through something like that again 3. Ravi deadass in every episode. When will my sweet prince return in this capacity 4. Forgot about athena hitting harry :( definitely one of the things that I had issues with from before and was just as shocked now as before like why did that need to happen :(

Okay okay NOW defend in place thoughts !!!!!! I really really liked it, definitely a top 3 s5 episode for me probably (the other 2 I really love are 5x11 and 5x12). Michael/grant family proposal montage… genuinely top (fun) montage in the show. Up there with jinx and stuck/chris and poker date montages imo it was so cute. And while I really loved the ep the whole time I was like damn we were robbed of david content so bad 😭😭😭 he was so good in this ep and the s4 michael bobby ep like I just want more I cant believe we’ll never see him again. Okay and the ravi lore. Im going to be honest I spent years thinking the ravi cancer child thing was fanon/ravi begins spec LMAO like I saw gifs of that ravi hen scene a few weeks ago and was like damn… that lore is canon😭 but yay I wish the show would just once expand on his lore beyond surface level. And the defend in place call was so good although I will say it was giving greys anatomy massively though. Before I kinda wished the show would have done more with david/hen dr stuff but honestly after this Im glad it didnt bc I swear Ive watched this exact stuff happen in greys before lol. But yeah overall what a great send off for michael like so good. On my first watch years ago I was always kind of like okay michael is fun but he doesnt really get to contribute to the main part of the show much outside of being a dad and in that sense I always found his character a bit weak/neglible. But now on this watch Im like why didnt they give us more of this michael!! Copaganda aside, The athena team up when theyre searching for harry was so good and it was probably when I started thinking damn this cast is really missing rockmund in recent seasons. But at least they went this direction with the send off, if theres one thing you can trust 911 for its an eventual happy ending. (And also side note. Amidst the summer of bpreg and domesticverse some of the scene in this episode had me really in my feels. Yay)

hiiiiii bestie!!!!!!! thank you for updating me!!! i also did not watch 5a live (started the show the january between 5a & 5b) so i'm in agreement with you on the fact that it's really not a bad half season when binged!! i can understand the frustration of watching it live though. also ravi being in every episode omg......we used to have it all....(totally forgot about that athena and harry shit too wtf...)

OK YAY DEFEND IN PLACE!!! idk if you saw but i ALSO rewatched it this week (partially in your honor and partially to fulfill the summer of buddie self-care prompt). I have SUCH a soft spot for david, we really don't get to see much of him but i loved their meet cute, loved him in there goes the neighborhood and he's just!!! ugh!!! super hot and so sweet and such a good partner to michael.

lol I've never seen grey's anatomy but i can def see that...anyway yay i'm glad you enjoyed the episode. on my rewatch it really hit home for me how much the episode was grant-nash focused (like you said, with the fun little proposal montage) and it made me realize how much i really do miss them. Looking back, part of what really drew me into the show in s2 was all the family stuff--Buck and Maddie first & foremost (also Eddie & Chris), but also definitely the Grants and how they navigated adding Bobby to their family. It was such a good storyline and they really continued to showcase how special their family is through the next couple seasons!!!

anyway thanks for updating me, let me know how the rest of s5 goes (esp May Day!) 🫡

[monimolimnion]

ok. hear me out. i have thoughts about nandor’s list of ideal wife traits.

ive seen posts that are like 'it's a list of traits guillermo has!' reading it as a nandermo hint, as well as posts that say 'guillermo has the exact opposite of those traits to show that nandor is in denial' and i really don’t think it’s a direct 1:1 of either of those at all

it's pretty clear to me that the list is first of all much more literal than that - the show isn't always trying to indicate something aside from literally what it's talking about (the traits of the wives he re-deaded during the montage) and while i love reading into things as much as the next guy i think this list really was just written to serve the joke more than anything

BUT. but. it's also something that is much more indicative of nandor's inner workings than it is a straight up list of things he likes about guillermo but won’t admit to because, well, let's list the traits -humble, an excellent listener, not petty or slovenly or vain or manipulative, never asked him to shave off his beard, not smarter than him, warm and wanted to be with him (🥺), kind, a good haggler, merciful, horny, and has a sense of spontaneity and fun

to me this reads almost as if it's a classic comphet 'oh i just have high standards' kind of bent thinking. half of the traits seem to actively contradict another item in the list! this is the exact kind of thought pattern that happens when you are so divorced from your actual Self that you don't actually even know what you want - if i just have a reason that every relationship isn't perfect, an excuse for it to never be right, then i don't have to face what is genuinely happening inside me. if i have a formula, then i am safe. 

i would argue that the list is actually three separate things: 1: things nandor genuinely does want in a relationship (which do tend to line up with guillermo's own traits, or the ones he has made most visible during his servitude) 2: things that would be good for nandor’s personal development and therefore he does not want to be challenged on them (especially by a near-stranger as his wives have become to him - the fight scene is the big example here, since his reaction to guillermo in the same context was so different, but also i’m including things like not being smarter than him, etc. these are largely Also traits guillermo has, and are the ones pointed out by the posts arguing that the whole list is about guillermo in negative).  3: the other things are just quibbles because he is a petty little bitch but we been knew that already

to me his total misread of marwa's personality at the end of the episode is so starkly obvious for those exact reasons - he doesn't know what he wants at all, and it's not as simple as his subconscious having all the answers in a direct negative for us to superimpose guillermo on, either. because divorcing yourself from your emotions and anything remotely difficult to process for 400 years is bound to have some sort of impact.

also i am deeply certain that nandor was largely the same (read: an asshole) even while he was still human, too, but that’s a topic for another time

[macgyvertape]

Castlevania kinda had a pacing problem

spoilers for all of Netflix’s Castlevania. I haven’t seen much analysis for the show on tumblr, im honestly curious if discussions I had with irl friends mirror what fandom talks about

tldr: Castlevania seems inconsistently paced from season to season, and within season as well, leads to a lot of characters motivations feeling unclear so characters repeatedly explain why they are doing something while they’re doing it

overview of the seasons:

S1 I know somewhat of a test for Netflix but it has good main trio character establishment and sets the scale of the conflict

s2: pretty complete emotional arc for most characters and resolves the plot of killing Dracula while setting up additional characters to continue the story. Isaac, Hector, Carmilla all established with the audience as characters whose story would continue

honestly I would bet this is the most popular season

S3: s2 did a bit of worldbuilding, but this season really fleshed out the world with both a wide range of locations and exploring the question of “what now, Dracula is dead but vampires and night creatures remain”.

There were basically 4 plot threads: 1) Sypha/Trevor investigating the cult & Saint Germain; 2) Hector & Carmilla (also introducing Lenore, Striga, Morana); 3) Isaac’s journey of revenge & self discovery; 4) Alucard sits around the castle and is betrayed.

overall characters roughly feel like they are in the same place if not worse. A big criticism I saw at the time, which hold up after rewatching this before s4 is nothing felt resolved for the main characters

I would say this season is where the pacing issues start to become apparent, juggling 4 plot threads that lack a central theme or even mutual character connection. If there was a central theme it would be “humans are awful to each other”. The Judge doing Hot Fuzz style murders, The Wizard in the tower, Sumi & Taka

S4: it starts with the same 4 plot threads, though upfront it is made clear that the plot theme is “people are trying to resurrect Dracula”, and the progression of the plot works to resolve unrelated plot threads until the main trio reunites for the boss fights. To me and my friends watching it was obvious that the show would reunite the main trio, the question was how and how far into the run time.

Season 4 is why I’m writing this essay, for the past 2 days I’ve been like, yeah that character sure explained their motives repeatedly maybe with some philosophical discussion, but it’s just such a weird place considering where they were in s3

Alucard’s arc:

Where he was left in season 3, it was after killing people he had trusted in self defense and impaling their corpses. It was clearly meant to parallel Dracula’s dislike of humanity. However overall his character lacked a proactive motivating force.

Honestly the most interesting thing I found in s3 was Alucard clearly misses Sypha and Trevor, however they don’t miss him or refer to him

One reason Sumi & Taka betray Alucard is for the secrets and power of Castlevania. After inviting the village including St Germain who Alucard was warned of into the Castle, Alucard makes 0 effort to secure anything, not even his personal childhood room. Guess he really learned nothing

Discussing St Germain, I think it’s funny that they had a several minute flashback sequence for his lost girlfriend (who doesn’t have a name or a voice actor), to remind the viewer of who he is, and to justify how he’s suddenly back and down for murder.

In s4 there is the call to help the village, and the walk back to the castle is a montage of Alucard opening up to Greta and becoming friendly literally overnight. He laughs off the impaling, and basically all of the darker things he went through in season 3, which has me asking what was the point of his season 3 arc then? 

Honestly writing this I realize the biggest parallel he has with Dracula is the call to action from a bold woman with a dramatic entrance speech which then leads to a romance

Isaac’s arc:

in s3, with all the other themes of “humanity sucks” I was always unsure if the townspeople were meant to appear irrational while attacking a larger force instead of letting him pass through an leave, or him not caring about how he’s provoking them is meant to show his insanity

ive seen the discussion elsewhere, curious about the Discourse here

is s4 Isaac has the whole monologue about how he now has agency but him gaining that agency was his s3 arc. In s4 he’s already at the point of accepting it. By the end of s4 he’s one of those who comes the furthest from his first character appearance to his last.

s4e5 where of Isaac attacking Carmilla in Isaac’s 2nd appearance had him resolving like 4 plot threads at once (Carmilla, Striga& Morana, Hector, and Isaac himself).

but i do wonder if Trevor, Sypha, or Alucard even know any of these people exist. I think not

I was honestly confused if I missed a scene from his dialogue about building something and what is inherent nature, to “My plan has evolved, my plan is now conquest” because he only conquests the one castle and the rest is left unclear

Upon rewatch the connection there is “killing [the wizard] felt just ... I liked that feeling”, so the show says that Isaac in the end attacked Carmilla for the sake of justice and not revenge.

Isaac in his last conversation expresses the theme of s4 “build something new on these old bones, where people can live for the future”

however, his arc honestly feel scenes were cut, and then dialogue was written around it. He’s the only living character who doesn’t show up in the epilogue and the sentient night creature “what if I could empty hell” dialogue was some of the most interesting worldbuilding. Night creatures with sentience and possibility of regaining memories!!!!

The Council of Sisters & Hector’s arc:

oh I’ve already seen s4 discourse about Lenore/Hector while searching for character analysis, a chunk of it seems to be rationalizing the absolute difference between how s3 ended with these characters and s4. It was extremely confusing for me and my friends; wondering if 1) was Hector showing more emotional intelligence than before and putting on a facade to cover up hatred? Nope 2) did more time pass than 6 weeks for there to be some kind stockholm syndrome? No, Hector seems fine to let Lenore kill herself

The slave control ring: played up in the climax of s3 and easily solved s4. s3 Lenore says if he tries to harm them, flee, or take it off it would cause crippling pain, in s4 Hector just easily cuts off his own finger.

for a control ring that they take time to show a version being on the Rebus, it doesn’t do much controlling of Hector

also guess the definition of “do harm” just refers to direct action

Lenore in s4: has no purpose in conquest, has that useless remarked on by multiple characters, is imprisoned, then kills herself after a genre aware philosophical discussion. This essay is long enough, but what the fuck happened to this character who ended s3 clearly physically and sexually abusive? Seriously this was one of the biggest writing changes to the point where she was treating Hector as an equal. Compare her last words in s3 “shh the real people [vampires] are talking”. The change in the relationship is actually something I would have taken being shown, or atleast told of what exactly caused this change other than the vague “you adopted him”

Striga&Morana get the best arc of the Council. 3 scenes: the tent argument, Daybreak armor fight & argument resolution, declaration of feelings and turning away. You could argue Castlevania is plot to be connective tissue between fight scenes, but for all the dialogue about human resistance in different seasons it was nice to see it. Overall the scenes were short but had a lot of showing what their relationship is not just telling,

unlike Carmilla. For as much hyping up as they did with her, and as much power as she had, she only appeared in 2 episodes and no other group except Isaac knew about her military conquest.

the map scene where she states her motive for conquest of wanting to take things from old men is the key example of how characterization became tell not show. How interesting was that monologue compared to the past seasons flashback to her murmuring the old vampire lord, or all her repeated insults of men/man-children that shows how she judges people??

That monologue had to carry the weight of justifying the Sisterhood bonds falling apart as well as why her motivation changed from building a human pen from Styria to Braila to world conquest. I think it did so poorly

Sypha & Trevor

really Sypha & Trevor have the main plot in the show. I checked and post season 1 the only episode they don’t appear in is s4e6, which is entirely devoted to the Isaac, Hector, and Council of Sisterhood arc. Their partnership and adventures are the main plot of the show.

Its easy to see what Trevor’s arc was over the show: coming to peace with the deaths of his family, taking up the mantle of being a Belmont, and starting a new family with Sypha.

With Sypha I actually had to scroll through tv tropes for what is her character arc, and I guess hers is disillusionment from adventure and life outside the speakers? My friends joke that Sypha’s magic is what the plot demands to look cool in a fight, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Tangent: the ending of their arc was easy to guess: as soon as Trevor went to fight the final boss alone I literally said “oh i bet Sypha’s pregnant, Trevor’s doing a heroic sacrifice, theyll use the unexplained magical dagger mcguffin, and 60/40 odds that he goes through an infinite corridor to outright come back vs just the implication he might come back”

I guess my final thought of the show, was overall the SUPER Final Boss got my by surprise. It was a good twist I enjoyed. Not that Death appeared, I had guessed that from the heavy foreshadowing, but I was surprised by who it was, because I had thought I thought the characters involved feeling shoehorned into the plot was just more bad writing. The Alchemist who put St Germain on the path or murder for no discernible motive for helping? Sure gotta move the plot along. New Dracula court member Varney who has a whole introduction with almost every character he meets and banter about his smell? Sure thats basically how all characters talk with a snarky and acerbic voice.

[something-tofightfor]

The Punisher Season 2: Episodes 1-5

My reactions as I watched these episodes: 

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT. I literally tagged it four different ways for spoilers so if you read them after this it’s your own damn fault. 

1: Roadhouse Blues HE IS IN BED WITH A WOMAN THINKING OF KAREN WHAT THE FUCK “Take the good when it comes” AND HES THINKING OF BILLY ALONG WITH THE KIDS MY FUCKING MIND IS BLOWN Frank is so comfortable around kids. This is going to end horribly. He’s gonna go back to this bar and all hell is going to break loose. Frank with blood dripping out of his nose is a MOOD Bathroom fight = Bar fight... not even an episode in and he’s already shot. Sucks to be you Beth. MADANI. Drinking at the foot of Billy’s bed. “Sweet dreams asshole” IVE MISSED THOSE EYES. 

2: Fight or Flight Oh look they’re in Ohio. PLEASE OH PLEASE LET HIM SAY RACHEL BECAUSE HEARING JON BERNTHAL GRUNT MY NAME WOULD BE HEAVEN Aaaaaaand there’s his ass HE IS DIGGING A BULLET OUT OF HIS ASS AND NOW SHE IS YIKES And now he’s grunting “get it” - I CANT. She’s lying. She’s a liar. Lying. And he knows it. He’s gonna be pissed when he realizes how young she is but she’s now ziptied to the bed - and now he’s duct taping her mouth shut this is wonderful and i hope it stays this way for 11 more episodes MADANI IS A GODDAMN MESS Broken Billy is going to be a problem for me. And at this point I feel like he genuinely doesn’t remember. Beth is lying for Frank. Interesting. ....  nevermind HE JUST SAID MY NAME .... you did have to get involved didn’t you, Frank. I DO like this girl calling him out though .... back to the tape and zip ties. My god billy is so anxious about his face he turns to the side to take his medication. the last thing he remembers is fucking being in the barracks. “Frank was your friend?” “My brother” OH MY GOD His memory is only there for a few minutes at a time. GODDAMN. Pilgrim doesn’t want to hear swearing... hmmmmmm - he’s connected to this girl in a more meaningful way than i thought before. HI RAFI. I AGREE WITH YOU. Madani is convinced that billy is faking. LET IT GO this girl is pointing a gun at frank. Yeah that’s not going to end well Oh look he killed a bunch of people and then ended up arrested .... Rachel, you’re.... a fucking horrible liar ... FRANK IN A DRUG RUG DINAH DREAMING ABOUT BILLY ON TOP OF HER AND NAKED - SAME MADANI SAME. that fucking little smirk. OH MY GOD “They died from terminal stupidity” 

3: Trouble the Water hello, Beverly Marsh. I see you in this creepy ass cult. The cadence of Pilgrim’s voice is both soothing and unsettling at the same time, how is this possible? So pilgrim is covered in faded white supremacy tattoos. That’s.... interesting. Frank is trying to warn these people. They should listen. Billy is avoiding sleep. His mannerisms are making me really nervous. He’s doing a good job. Holy shit he just handed those cops their asses. Why is Dumont limping BYE BILLY . Gif ... is.... Pilgrim trying to prove his faith to save his wife? Madani in a big friggin hurry to prove she was right, acting concerned - she still doesn’t get it Unless he’s truly playing them all LMAO DUMONT CALLING MADANI OUT ABOUT NOT KNOWING HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REALITY AND FICTION hi, brett! Good to see you! Madani stole the journal. Hmmm As always frank is the most aware person in the room and he still has no idea what’s going on Ogden’s gonna die. Nice knowing you kid. Picking them off one by one by one... this cult is full of snipers “Sweet boneless Jesus” is my new statement Oh the girl finally did something useful Police station shootout is actually pretty intense Ogden literally got shot in the stomach and still wants to help. That’s how we DO IT in Ohio Marlena is a bitch, but she is focused on frank. This very quickly became personal for her. .... oh. Frank castle literally set two men on fire with one bullet. My fucking hero Him sprinting around in this forest is incredible he’s like a murder gazelle Dinah shows up at the exact right time to save frank and to tell him that Billy broke out of the hospital... guess it’s time to go back to New York. WHAT IS ON THESE ANCIENT ASS FILM ROLLS?!?! who even uses film  cameras anymore 4: Scar Tissue I NEED TO SEE BILLY RUSSO IN THIS I GOT A BIG DICK T SHIRT Ok but where are you going IN YOUR SOCKS, sir? HI HELLO I SEE YOU IN THOSE GLASSES Madani still chewing her aspirin i see   Two locks on her bedroom door, madani is scared This crazy bitch is sleeping under the bed ... nevermind she’s crying not sleeping IM SO SAD HE PUT THE GODDAMN SHIRT ON INSIDE OUT Holy fuck the look on his face and in his eyes when he sees himself for the first time before the injuries. Oh my god oh my god Floriana Lima sucks. Billy went 6 months without decorating the mask. His eyes are so expressive goddamn Frank and Madani hate each other 6 week coma.... facial reconstruction... Billy was biding his time. Madani with his bloody punisher vest casually in her closet, ok. HI CURTIS. i see you’re better prepared Curtis believes Billy doesn’t remember. And he was listed as Billy’s next of kin... heartbreaking. Curtis is describing Billy and Frank with this single conversation. Interesting. Holy shit is he back at the group home?! Casual billy in jeans and a beanie.... yesssss WAIT ITS A FLASHBACK OH HELL YES BUT WHOSE FLASHBACK IS IT Moments of sleep... the mask... Oh fuck. Billy’s going to kill the dude that hurt him Oh fuck oh fuck Finally this dumb girl is opening up. And Frank just decided to keep himself inserted in this, but there’s never really been a choice for him I guess. Billy went to the group home and it was gone and thats the only place he had to go. Jesus, they’re really making you feel for him. He had nowhere and no one to go to so he went to his GODDAMN ABUSER. “You were a good looking kid. It’s a damn shame” FUCK HIM UP BILLY DONT YOU TAKE THAT SHIT Amy’s expression while listening to Madani and Frank 🤣🤣🤣 Oh this motherfucker just poked him in the chest and is bragging about what he did. COME ON BILLY KILL HIM Amy figuring out who frank is and what he did... hmmmmm Madani showing up at the house like a psychopath HOLY SHIT HE STABBED HIM IN THE CHEST WITH A MOP HANDLE ..... fuck. I swear if she takes advantage of him I’m going to scream Billy knows that he deserves what’s happened to him, but not WHY. That’s big. She’s suggesting redemption. ... he wants to see the best version of himself again. He wants to fix things. And i think he’s serious. I’m very conflicted 

5: One-Eyed Jacks Stack the deck - gotta be the dealer... good advice frank. Hi, Turk! Setting up a meeting.... interesting angle frank. Madani is having a nightmare at the same time billy is actually sleeping. Interesting. WHO SLEEPS IN A SILK NIGHTGOWN LIKE THAT madani is seeing billy without scars in her nightmares and sleeping with s gun under her pillow. “I don’t want to feel it, I want to kill it” ... She’s helping him, but i don’t know WHY. And i want to trust her but i just CANT Billy Russo just said “please” and “thank you” in the same conversation... and meant it. WHAT ARE THESE SCARS ON HER ARMS Frank agrees that Billy was right to kill Arthur. Ok back to the creepy cult Leave your dad alone, kid... he’s a little busy Oh frank is going to kill every single person in this gym. I could have done without the  Amy-splurging montage... unless she bought something worthwhile. NOT A DRILL BILLY FUCKING RUSSO IN A TOWEL holy hell is he ripped. I literally had to watch this scene like 4 times because i know it’s important but i couldn’t focus The snake and the rebirth idea is really interesting to me. “The sick are transformed by the healer’s art” .... she’s trying to transform billy. She’s trying to cleanse him... but for what purpose? Madani with Curtis. This is good. Maybe he can help her. Nevermind they’re lying to each other about frank. Madani opening up in the group.... interesting. She feels her life is ruined. Billy and this airman getting drunk is the buddy comedy i didn’t know i needed ... here comes the gym YIKES THAT DUDES FACE These people taking selfies in the bar... Billy’s going to get his photo taken He’s just trying to reconnect with another military man. I didn’t even think about that before   SWEAR TO GOD IF BILLY STARTS DOING COKE INTERESTING. He knows who billy is. Krista is horrified of heights.... interesting as hell. So she’s just as fucked as billy Ah fuck. Pilgrim is in New York.

[alltheshadesoftruth-blog1]

On Warging in GOT: What Could Have Been

Spoiler alert: I hate the show. I hate it with a passion. But, it was not ever thus: I loved series 1, and I found series 2…tolerable. I was at most disappointed with series 3. Series 4 was where the show started to actively anger me: the reduction of the Dornish to their “exoticism” and their sexuality; taking away Sansa’s agency in her plans to flee King’s Landing; the presentation of magical elements.

In view of my hatred, I thought I’d engage in an experiment: how would I present the first instance of skinchanging? Skinchanging is one of the key magical elements of the series (with some theorising about its connection to the Others and its role in the wars to come), and it has been chronically mishandled in the show so far.

So, assuming that we have, up until this point, had an accurate and adequate adaptation of how Bran is exploring his powers (seeded in series 2/3/4, ideally, also through Jon and Arya’s storylines), I would kick off whatever episode Bran first wargs into Walder (in the alternate reality where I am running GOT) thusly.

A couple of disclaimers: 1) I am by no means a screenwriter. 2) I realise this does not necessarily fit exactly with the continuity of the show - that would be because I hate the continuity of the show: it prioritises the wrong things, wouldn’t know a theme if one kicked it in the face and exists primarily so D&D can spoil endings etc. for book readers. So there. 3) We won’t have the gratuitous stuff with Locke et al, so the first time Bran would be warging into Walder would be in the cave with Bloodraven turning a blind eye. 4) I hate “Hold the Door”. My brother is mentally disabled in a similar way to Walder, albeit with more speech, and this episode sickens me on so many levels. 5) As you may have noticed, I will be referring to “Hodor” as Walder, since that is his name, rather than an ableist nickname to which he did not consent.

Now, I’m not a fan of “cold opens”, but I promise it would make more sense and be less jarring in this version of the show because we would have spent more time with the wildlings as characters, rather than as a monolith, in Jon’s arc.

We are in a snowy landscape - it’s not clear whether it’s North or South of the Wall until an eagle screams by the camera. We follow it with swooping angles and fast cuts until it lands on Varamyr (it’s not necessary to explain that it was Orell’s eagle, but you get bonus Book Points if you do - give the eagle a memorable scar, or have it wearing a coloured sash or something). We then go to what Varamyr describes in ADWD as his life before allying with Mance Rayder - dominion over the village and coercing the women into his hall so he can have sex with them. We would have one example of this happening as “”normal””, maybe a montage of women going in and out at day and night, but then the last one changes things.

Have Thistle come in dressed as a Spearwife (scarred, braids, leathers and furs, have her still be armed because Varamyr has become arrogant and doesn’t think any woman will fight back and resist him): either because he likes the challenge, or because she tries to physically fight him; Varamyr tries to warg into Thistle. Cue psychedelia.

*Quick aside*

My main problems with Bran’s storyline in the cave with Max von Bloodraven are that a) the parameters of skinchanging aren’t really properly explained (e.g. the show has it so that Bran can affect the past, as in Hold the Door, the books state that the Weirwoods only provide a looking glass) and b) we do not have enough weirdness. Thinking about the first point: we are supposed to realise that skinchanging into other people is wrong - this is not just something you can do and get away with it. There should be and are consequences, one way or another, for the powerful attempting to subjugate the weak in this way. The show presented how Bran warging into Walder would look from the outside, and what effect it would have on the plot (which is all they seem able to understand), but they do not show what is happening on the inside, aside from showing that Walder is clearly confused and upset by what Bran makes him do to Locke, for example (such as when he looks at his bloodied hands).

As for the second point: this is a 128-year-old sorcerer who is tutoring a 9-year-old boy in how to become a God. I don’t want stationary, realistic shots. I want dreamscapes, cosmic weirdness, the curtain of light at the end of the world. I wanted the show to have taken the opportunity to show us Asshai and Wyverns and Sothoryos, since we will likely never see it in the books, and for a show that prides itself on bringing the spectacle of cinema into people’s living rooms, the mystic side of the show has been...well...boring.

With that in mind, I want everything about this scene to be jarring: sound, lights, camera movement, colour distribution (remember: whoever looked at ASOIAF and thought “You know what we need? Grayscale” should never be allowed near a camera or screenplay again). I want us to practically feel the psychological damage this is doing to Thistle, while seeing what she does in the books, clawing at her face. (I also think that the white eye thing should be used more sparingly, as a sign that the skinchanger is “clocking in and out”: for reasons that will become clear in a second). I realise this seems to contradict criticisms of gratuitousness etc., but this violence would be for a specific purpose: we are supposed to identify with Thistle, not Varamyr, in the book, and we are supposed to feel an instinctual revulsion at what he is doing; and we are going to make this immediately relevant to the “main arc” with literally five more seconds of screentime.

So we’re immersed in Thistle and Varamyr, and at a moment where, in this version where we’re using more of a dreamscape approach, both of their faces are on-screen, terrified and driven mad by the pain and the violation and exulting in their power and domination respectively...

...their faces warp into Walder and Bran, we continue to see Walder’s pain (mirroring Thistle’s both to humanise him, since dialogue apparently can’t, although Guardians of the Galaxy managed with Groot, and make her more relatable to audience that has, at this stage, been with Walder for 4/5 seasons), and then a scene continues (in the cold light of GOT-style grayscale, since in this case it would actually aid contrast between the magical and the mundane) with Bran-as-Walder, Meera and Jojen in their own cave, where we learn that Bran has been with Bloodraven for three days – Meera is worried, Jojen is cryptic and Bran-as-Walder is just sitting there, with the occasional flash of the white eye effect as Bran reasserts control over Walder.

…ok, hear me out.

I can understand why Bran does what he does: he is a nine-year-old boy from a noble family who was traumatically crippled, bringing an end to his dreams of becoming a knight and being “taunted” by the image of Walder, a "simpleminded giant” in Bran’s own words (AGOT Bran IV), being able to physically achieve anything; since being crippled, he has unlocked the potential for vast powers for which he is barely given any guidance as to their use. I understand. But understanding does not make this right. I find it shocking how many people are willing to label Arya, a child soldier who regularly shows empathy to others while still doing awful things, a psychopath while not giving Bran’s actions the least bit of scrutiny. Bran knows that what he is doing is wrong: he actively thinks about it, in ways that reveal a lot about Bran and his mental interactions with Walder and what he thinks they mean.

The big stableboy no longer fought him as he had the first time, back in the lake tower during the storm. Like a dog who has had all the fight whipped out of him, Hodor would curl up and hide whenever Bran reached out for him. His hiding place was somewhere deep within him, a pit where not even Bran could touch him. No one wants to hurt you, Hodor, he said silently, to the child-man whose flesh he'd taken. I just want to be strong again for a while. I'll give it back, the way I always do. (ADWD Bran III)

This is wrong.

Now let’s look at why.

“Like a dog who has had all the fight whipped out of him”.

Setting aside, for one moment, the rampant dehumanisation of the mentally disabled in Westeros (seen with Walder, Lollys, countless others who remain unnamed and unremembered): whipping the fight out of a dog takes sustained cruelty and many attempts. Whipping the fight out of a dog is a waiting game, designed to achieve the outcome you want at the expense of the dog’s wellbeing, and designed to suppress any personality or will in the dog. The trainer knows this, before, during and after the act. Bran knew what he was doing, every one of the apparently many times that Bran has forced himself into Walder.

“Hodor would curl up and hide whenever Bran reached out for him”

A shownly tried to tell me, about a week after “Hold the Door” aired, that Hodor would have done it willingly for Bran, and that “Hodor”, essentially, was more useful when being controlled by an able-minded individual: that he was “asking to be used like that”. This individual has, you will be pleased to know, been cut out of my life entirely: someone who thinks that the privileged in society have the right--nay, the obligation--to use those socially inferior to them for their own ends is clearly a fucking psychopath. In the books, Walder curls up and hides. This is not the action of someone who consents. This sign alone should be enough to convince Bran that, actually, forcing yourself into someone else’s mind to stalk your crush and your bezzie mate (unbeknownst to them, which is weird in itself) is an abomination.

“the child-man whose flesh he'd taken”

This frankly gruesome description of Bran’s violation of Walder shows, without doubt, that Bran knows what he is doing. He knows that it is wrong and, more to the point, he feels the barest amount of remorse. He feels enough pity for Walder to pathetically attempt to reassure the man whose mind he is raping, but not enough to ever stop. The description of Walder as a “child-man” is, in this context, therefore, particularly horrifying. But it is Bran’s attempt to reassure himself that it is Walder’s “flesh” that he is taking that is the most disquieting thing for me: because it isn’t. That is the effect, certainly: Bran only notices that he is taking Walder’s “flesh”, since it is the only thing about Walder that interests him. However, we can see from this passage that Bran is taking so much more from Walder than his “flesh” (such a gross way of referring to someone’s body, while we’re on the subject – more animal than human, akin to “horseflesh”): Walder, someone with a limited understanding of the world who has, among other things, been attacked by literal zombies and subject to mental abuse, does not feel safe in his own mind. That is, and should always be, horrifying.

“I just want to be strong again for a while. I'll give it back, the way I always do.”

It’s the “just” here that is the most sickening part. Because what Bran wants is so pathetically simple (again, I understand that he is suffering as well: but we are witnessing him mentally raping someone weaker than himself, so you’ll forgive me if I don’t show my usual empathy): he wants to be physically able, and is willing to dehumanise and violate someone else to get that feeling for a few hours. The casualness of “the way I always do” speaks to a flippancy surrounding the violation, similar to what we see earlier during the wight attack: “He wondered what Meera would think if he should suddenly tell her that he loved her.” (ADWD Bran II)

What this means for the show.

The show has made clear, from the moment they added in Kristian Nairn’s naked body into the bathing scene in the Godswood, that they do not view Hodor—Walder—as a person. They view him as a literal joke, and as much of an object as the women whose naked, unnamed bodies they paraded around in Littelfinger’s brothel scene or in the scene where Ramsay taunts Theon with beautiful women. Hodor is an object to them: a means by which they can move their able-minded, therefore more important, character from one point to the next. D&D’s fixation on plot has meant that the subtleties of Bran’s ADWD Chapters have been lost in favour of exposition dumps, seeking to spitefully spoil surprises for readers of the books. This fixation has also meant that they have focused on the outward effects of this warging, without appropriate consideration being afforded to anything else: instead of looking at the previous passage, they focused on the second part of this quote: “Deep inside he could hear poor Hodor whimpering still, but outside he was seven feet of fury with old iron in his hand.” (ADWD Bran II) In failing to humanise Walder, in failing to treat him as more than a prop or a plot device, we have been robbed of a kind and gentle man who feels no ill-will toward anyone.

"Hodor!" the stableboy announced, as was his custom, smiling hugely at them all. (AGOT Bran IV)

Hodor hummed tunelessly as he carried Bran down the steps and through the gallery (AGOT Bran IV)

Hodor washed the sweat from him with a warm, damp cloth and dressed him with deft and gentle hands. (AGOT Bran IV)

And it perhaps Bran’s chapters at the beginning of AGOT that can prepare us for this warping of Bran’s character, which will hopefully be addressed by some form of confrontation with Euron, as they battle for dominion of the Westerosi astral plan: “It felt queer to look down on him this way, when he'd spent his whole life looking up at him, but when you sat on Hodor's back you looked down on everyone.” (AGOT Bran VI, emphasis mine)

[gaarfielf]

my list of lupin movies ive watched for the sake of keeping track and making sure i dont rewatch some

Castle of Cagliostro (10)

favourite Lupin movie of all time. Fantastic art, cast, plot, everything.

Blood Seal: Eternal Mermaid (8.5)

Really good animation and really interesting plot. Another ‘Lupin has to babysit’ movie but it was treated in such a way that set it apart from other ones. He gives her a lot of good advice and overall I really enjoyed this one even if it’s kind of underrated.

Burning Memory - Tokyo Crisis (8.5)

Surprisingly good like I wasn’t expecting a 90′s Lupin movie to come for me like this but the animation is really solid and the movie itself was really funny. I also liked that Maria and Zenigata weren’t a thing like that cleared my pores.

The Bloodspray of Ishikawa Goemon (8)

The animation is fucking stellar but there were odd gaps in the movie that were really inactive. I liked the two subplots going on though like they were both interesting.

Bye Bye Lady Liberty (8)

The classic convoluted subplots worked well here tbh and the Goemon romance stuff was gunshot noise gunshot noise cash register noise. The animation had this weird glow to it but it was (almost) the 90s lol

Hemingway Papers (8)

They really got me with Goemon and Jigen going against each other and Lupin being in a relationship with someone aside from Fujiko (a relationship that was genuinely romantic) was actually pretty well done. That whole bit at the end with the karaoke machine? Amazing

Return the Treasure (7)

Another one that was really close to being perfect. The only loose ends was that the “treasure” wasn’t really explained very well (but i mean, the lead up to it was very good) and i could’ve done with more scenes with the whole gang (it seemed like there was a lot of times where it was lupin jigen and fujiko or lupin goemon and fujiko, but not enough of all of them together)

From Siberia With Love (7) 

The usual amount of humour and action from a Lupin III film and the art is pretty standard. Goemon got a few nice quotes in and Fujiko talked to a woman. Could’ve done without Rasputin but thats just me.

Elusiveness of the Fog (7)

Lupin offering Goemon to the princess was kinda funny and I actually really liked OG Mamo (not the short freak) being revitilized bc his episode in the original series was really entertaining. The history of where they were was a little wonky but I’ll give it to them this time.

Pilot Film (7)

That shit was wild i liked how jigen was introduced as the gunman and then beat the shit out of 3 police officers with his bare hands. also goemon i guess dedicates his life to killing lupin so thats fun, like he’s on zenigata’s side i guess. could’ve done with fujiko making an expression at any given time but yknow what? it was funny and it was only 12 minutes long

Another Page (7)

Surprisingly not that bad. To summarize the film as a whole I’d say: it could have been worse. The plot made sense which is more than i can say about most lupin movies and they stuck to two subplots that were both interesting and meshed pretty good by the end. And the two lady characters that got introduced didn’t betray anybody AND didn’t die.

Farewell to Nostradamus (6.5)

The animation was pretty good and I liked the whole ‘we gotta protect this kid’ thing but I always mix up this one and Bye Bye Liberty Crisis like this movie is it’s less interesting twin. Both of them have kids they need to protect but Bye Bye Liberty Crisis was just better. I feel like this one had a really good ending but aside from that the movie wasn’t that memorable for me.

Fuma Conspiracy (6.5)

i liked Goemon being in a relationship bc it was really sweet, i just wish there wouldve been a better balance of romance to plot. Also terrible voice actors but that just affected my enjoyment not really the plot or anything relevant.

Sweet Lost Night (6)

I like time shenanigans and my only two critiques are the inconsistent art quality and they seemed really hesitant to embrace time skipping. Like “he’s limited to twice before he becomes brain dead” was a little bit of a small window. If anything they missed out on a good opportunity for a classic lupin montage of him time skipping way too often. Maybe if they changed it to “you skip time every 12 hours, to every 6 hours, to every 3 hours, etc” until he stops existing?? like that seems more in line with a lupin plot not to mention a little more suspenseful.

Dead or Alive (6)

The new art style is kind of neat and didn’t really affect the personality of the characters like I thought it would. The plot itself was complicated and hard to follow but I mean, it wasn’t awful. Nothing I really hated and nothing I loved.

Jigen Daisuke’s Gravestone (6)

Handsome Jigen was cool but tcm i’m begging you to drink your Respect Women Juice. Also Goemon wasn’t in this one what the fuck was up with that. Lupin looked like a crispy toenail in the new art style but again the animation is gucci so I can’t really complain on that front.

Napoleon's Dictionary (6)

Reminded me a lot of Mamo except with more respect in women. Just kidding Fujiko was kind of a crapshoot in the end and the ending was more or less just. cut off?? like they crashed into the ocean after lupin ruined zenigatas marriage and the credits started rolling. it was weird bc it had a lot going but i guess they ran out of time for a proper ending?

Mystery of Mamo (6)

Respect Women Juice needed and also why was Goemon purple. The pros to this movie was the overall aesthetic being really attractive BUT the plot was sketchy and didn’t make a lot of sense. The only remarkable scene I remember is Jigen shooting the can by Lupin’s feet like I wish that emotion would’ve carried through the film and not ended there.

Red vs Green (5)

Really good animation, no fucking idea what happened in this film.

Walther P-38: Island of Assassins (5)

They missed an opportunity to be a little more psychological and the lady of the week dying was meh but I will say the plot stayed on course like they didnt try to do too much at once like they tend to do. I wish they would’ve delved more into lupin’s past with the doctor because that seemed kind of random but the more lethal, edgy plot was handled decently. I’ll probably forget this one in a week tbh.

Dragon of Doom (5)

I like learning more about Goemon but his girlfriend was really distracting and uneccessary. Like, if you want to introduce Goemon’s childhood friend sure its whatever but she only showed up to either threaten lupin or flirt with Goemon. And it was very obvious she was going to betray him so all her build up was pointless. I will say though, the plot was pretty cool which was surprising.

Voyage to Danger (4)

tcm I’m begging you to let Jigen talk to a woman and not have it be like ‘this is Jigens girlfriend now’. Sometimes women be talking and they aren’t thirsting for a man triple their age. It just be like that sometimes. Thats literally all I remember about this film.

First Contact (4)

I remember being excited for this like ‘oh wow their first ever meeting’ and i s2g this film was boring. And also a giant plothole. With no real redeeming qualities. I don’t even remember the animation being that good.

Columbus Files (4)

This film was at least funny bad but my hand to god I’d never watch it again. This is the first time I’ve ever watched a movie and had to watch the dub bc the sub was boring me to death. It was just... so bad... Especially when you’ve seen Wings of Death like this ain’t the Fujiko I know please leave.

Seven Days Rhapsody (3)

The comedy in this one was so weirdly incorporated and featured another really good ‘here’s Jigen’s dead girlfriend’ that i just could not care less about and then finished off with this what like 13 year old girl asking to be Lupin’s girlfriend? fuck outta here. The ONLY good part was Goemon slapping Lupin across the face.

Alcatraz Connection (2.5)

Really, really boring. The content wasn’t necessarily bad but they had 4 subplots going on that were equally uninteresting and some scenes went on for so so so long. It deadass took me 5 hours to watch this movie bc i kept pausing to do literally anything else. The art was unpleasant and by the time they got the treasure i didn’t really care anymore. Not to mention the plot was way too complicated and tin-foil hat for my liking.

Missed by a Dollar (2.5)

Made very little sense and in general was really annoying. Between Goemon being a born again Christian and the plot briefly derailing so Lupin could establish an oil company it was like can we pick something to focus on? By the end of the movie I was like wait when did they get the broach? What does the broach do again? And then he gives it to someone random and its like??

Gold of Babylon (2)

This one if the definition of being cursed and Pink Jacket deserved so much better than this nonsense. Like Lupin III isn’t known for its coherence, sure, but this movie had absolutely no structure. Upon finishing the film I was trying to remember anything that just happened and my brain refused. It kept the good cartoonish animation but god at what cost.

Angel Tactics (2)

TCM PLEASE DRINK YOUR RESPECT WOMEN JUICE. The art was just. Stunningly bad. Bad to the degree where about a minute thirty in I already regretted starting it. Not to mention the classic “we don’t actually wanna draw this part so we’re gonna jam cgi in here”. Also the most awkward use of “hey heres 3 women hey heres 3 men lets shove them together”.

Harimao’s Treasure (2)

nazis and transphobia which was extremely unfortunate considering the opening was actually one of the stronger ones I’ve seen from Lupin but immediately after the villain was introduced the quality of the film dropped about 90% and i wanted to die for the entire last half of the film. if they had changed the villain it would’ve solved 90 of their problems.

Twilight Gemini (2)

this was one of the only films in the entire lupin series where i was rooting for lupin to fucking perish. not only was goemon only in this film for 26 seconds, jigen was there for about 30 seconds and im not entirely sure if fujiko was there at all. not to be that guy but when they make lupin to be the most intolerable piece of shit in the world for this movie, don’t give him all the screen time. having to stare at this asshole for an hour and a half was exhausting.

Princess of the Breeze (2)

How a movie where Jigen has to carry a baby around in one of those funny baby-carriers turned out this fucking goddawful I have no explanation for. This movie was like an AU where all these other characters no one cares about happen to exist in the same universe as lupin. and when lupin does show up, i want him dead. Just horrifically boring and lazy art mixed with bad cgi. The only upside is that it isn’t Return of the Magician.

Return of the Magician (1)

I’m giving it a 1 on the principle that this wasn’t even a movie. It was a little less than an hour long and my god i’ve never seen a film so full of pad-time that if i can be so bold, there was more pad time than plot. What little plot they had made absolutely no sense and the art used cgi in the most bizarre and ugly ways. i’m pretty sure the credits played twice at the end. if there was a world record for lowest budget in a film, Return of the Magician would win hands down.

[the-princess-with-pancakes]

Emma Roberts Movie Week

It’s actually a bit unexpected. I didn’t plan this, I just watched Scream IV and her character made me love her even more, then I did after Chanel. So I thought, why not, no matter that I planned Brendan Fraser Movie Week.

 Day 1: Scream IV (2011)

It’s not the movie I want to talk about (because I plan to make a post about the whole franchise, after watching the TV Series), but about he character. I mean, how awesome is watching Emma Roberts as psycho killer. Especially a very convincing psycho killer, trying to kill Sidney. After watching Scream Queens and knowing how well she plays bitchy characters, so it was very entertaining. The third act of course. Watching her as a side character was just okay. That’s really all I can say. So yeah, there you go folks. Also the villain monologue was fun. Just read for yourself:

Favorite Jill quote:

Jill Roberts: My friends? What world are you living in? I don't need friends. I need fans. Don't you get it? This has never been about killing you? It's about becoming you. I mean, for fuck's sake, my own mother had to die, no great loss there, so I could stay true to the original. That's sick, right? Well, sick is the new sane. You had your 15 minutes, now I want mine! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Go to college? Grad school? Work? Look around. We all live in public now, we're all on the Internet. How do you think people become famous any more? You don't have to achieve anything. You just gotta have fucked up shit happen to you. So you have to die, Sid. Those are the rules. New movie, new franchise. There's only room for one lead, and let's face it, your ingenue days, they're over. A bit long, yeah, but how great. Isn’t that weird, that her monologue is longer then my text about her character?

Day 2: Wild Child (2008)

A very linear teen drama, but in England. Why would I pick that? The real question is: Why not? I mean, yes, it’s stupid, and yes, I’m an adult, but I’m still a kid inside, and I know it’s a bad movie, but it was still entertaining sometimes. Again, watching Emma playing a bitch is fun, for 20 minutes, but it was still fun. If we got through the best part, let’s get to business. Her character growth was okay, her friends were okay, their relation was okay. The school bitch was awfully stereotypical, no matter that her first appearance said otherwise. I hoped at least that from that movie, but it didn’t even give me that, so...

The fun part tho was just turning my brain off for an hour and half, and just watch Emma hanging out with some teenagers with British accent. It’s still one of my favorite female celebrities. Also her name was Poppy! It could belike the flower, but hearing “Poppy” made me think about That Poppy. Which is always a little plus. Wow, that paragraph about the things I liked is too short. Hey, Nick Frost! 

The montage was awful... it broke me from the movie every 30 seconds, which was hard to watch. Also the scene quick before the end was so cringe. At least for me. They were losing, then made a dance, and magically they won! (The dance was cringe, if someone were wondering)

Well that’s all, it was between average and okay.

Favorite quote:

Poppy: I didn't start it, it wasn't my fault, and if this were America, I would sue.

That’s true, OMC. America is beautiful, I love it, I want to visit it someday.

 Day 3: The Art of Getting By (2011) 

There is a thin line between being a good movie, and being pretentious. This movie sadly is on the wrong side of the line. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoyed watching this movie, it got to me, I love the main character, George, I can see myself in him, somehow. I always wanted to be that weird guy on the side, or I just want it, because these guys (like in this movie) alwayse ended up happy at the end, and I want the same thing for myself. But that’s a theme for different post. I liked seeing the world through his eyes. The scene showing how he wanted to get over Sally was great. Or when she broke him with the weird sex questions, during their “date”. Freddie’s acting was very convincing, and I didn’t saw the actor, I saw a boy with problems. The relations between him and the other characters and the way he reacten to every rational thing, he should do, but just couldn’t. I can also say a good thing about the side characters. I really liked them. The way they were created, even if some of theme didn’t have a lot of screen time, I had still fun spendind time with them. Like when Sallys’s mother told her, that she should be with George or when the painter struggled to be with Sally. I could also say about how I liked the montage and directing, but who cares? Also I liked the “development” of Freddie’s character, like in the first and second part who was becomind worse and worse...

Sadly the thing I was most anticipating in this movie was Emma Roberts and... well, Sally totally blows. I disliked her after 5 or so minutes. I’m not really sure if she’s such a bad actress, or it was just like her character was written, but Sally was so wooden. She was pretty, yes, but that’s just one of two things, that I think George could see in her (the second is, that she really cared about him and liked him, for example the scene, when they were sleeping next to each other, or when she called him every 5 minutes, whe he left her). I also really, really disliked her, when she broke my precious George! I mean, who does she think she is? (that’s not a blame on the movie, just another reason to not like her character, which isn’t a bad thing) Sally was the second most important character, but she dind’t develop at all. It was painfull to watch her in some scenes, beacause I knew that she would hurt George, because he wanted to go forwrd in some way, but she was staying the same all the time. Another thing I didn’t like was most of the third act. How George suddenly (I know it was because of his mother, he didn’t to upset her any more) change his attitude to life and so quickly straightened everything. It just wasn’t convincing for me. Also it was very predictable. Him, getting the diploma, her, going back to him, the painting, being Sally. Sad. Sadly. They could work on that a little more.

Favorite qoute:

Sally Howe: What were you like as a child?

George Zinavoy: I was such a better person than I am now.

Sally Howe: Come on.

George Zinavoy: I'm serious. I was happy. I was open. I was curious. But I'll tell you this: I knew when it was ending. I was overwhelmed with sadness when I realized that I was going to change, and that it was all most likely going to get worse, like a nostalgia for the present. I couldn't shake it... 

And it’s sad to say, that I dind’t like her creation. It really is. I hope it’s not her acting and I can see her again in a small movie, but with more. More to play and that she actually does it well. For now I like her justas the bitchy/psycho type.

 Day 4: Nancy Drew (2007)

Hey I’m actually keeping up! Only three das/movies left.

So I just looked up (on Wikipedia, I’m not a detective) that, as I thought, the movie is based on a book series for teenagers, with the same name. 

I start with the things I liked. And don’t let it fool you, there were’nt as many. The start was quite fine and fun to watch. The city and the charachters living in it. Just the world created around Nancy in her home town was adorable, just to be fine for a few minutes. I also liked Nancy at some point. I guess Emma can play charismatic characters, not just bitches. Which is good, but it wasn’t very good acting, since it also wasn’t a role that needed a good actress, just because the writting was so doll. Ahh, I wanted to say, what I liked first. So I also liked the side characters from her home town, like her father and Ned, or some of the LA characters: just Jane and Leshing. And the styling. I think the setting around our main characters was cute. Her dressing style, the style of that “hounted” house or her home town (I didn’t remember it, I’m really not familiar with the book series). Hey, Bruce Willis!

That’s sadly all, not many good things, that I could talk about. The writting tho. Ugh! It was so, so bad. Mished with that acting was just terrible to watch. Just because I liked some charachters, does not mean, I think they well written well, or that they were acted well. They weren’t. None of them. Maybe Nancy and her father a little, but that’s all. The story... Just meh. After half an hour I wasn’t feeling any mistery. And talk about tension, there was none of it. Even the scene when they were just about to kill Nancy, I was felling nothing. Oh wait, I was annoyed. Because the side characters from her new school had appeared on my screen! I hated them. Especially Corcky. uhh... I just felt like a story written by a teenager, and I think not a teenager has written it (no, it were two adult people). I mean, do they know, they can make a movie for children (and this, BTW, felt like a movie for 3-6 years old), that’s also entertaining for adults? Look at Teen Titans GO: To the Movies! (2018). That’s a good example.

Favorite quote:

Carson Drew: Phone call. Long distance from Scotland. Something about the Loch Ness Monster and some missing diamonds. Nancy Drew: Another case!

Well, despite how I disliked ths movie, I would definietly watch a sequel with Nessi. But it didn’t gross much, which I’m not suprised with.

 Day 5:

Got distracted, by discovering “The Pitch” from ScreenRant. Totally got me. Binge watched like 20 episodes.

 Actual Day 5: Paradise Hills (2019)

What a weirdly boring movie. Maybe I didn’t pay to much attention as I should, but it didn’t get me at all.

I wanted to watch something new, to see how her acting “grow” with her, but... Again, she didn’t get much to play. Which is very dissapointing. 

To start with the good things. The movie is extreamly beautiful. It looks so magical. The movie has just a 6 million budget, but it was still enough to hire Emma Roberts, Milla Jovovich, Awkwafina and to build a gorgeous set. The CGI was very visible, but only in two scenes (like the car on the beginning for example). And... That’s all? The acting of most main cast fine, I guess. 

OMC, where to start even? Idea for the story: very, very unoriginal. It’s actually felt much like The Island (2005) and a little like Sucker Punch (2011) (although I don’t remember it very well), maybe a mix of bouth. It’s not bad, it’s just made not so well. The script: dull, slow and predictible. I don’t like saying this, because I mostly shut of my brain, try to have fun and don’t predict anything, but it was hard. The ending tho. Seriously, to predictable. And no, I didn’t predict, that Jovovich is playing a fucking rose witch/vampire. That actually suprised me. The characters: they we’re okay, but mostly still to stereotypical, like for eample Milla’s witch, Emma’s main and the sidecharacter singer. Again just complaining on the same things I complained the last three movies.

Favorite quote:

Duchess: *screams, while changing into a bush*

I still have one critycally acclaimed drama (to see her acting on a good script) and a good movie to end the marathon happy :3

Day 6: Palo Alto (2013)

I can’t say. I liked this movie. Not a lot, but it was still enjoyable for me.

I thought Emma will play the main character, which she has and hasn’t in a way. She was one of the main characters with Teddy i think. Yeah, okay, I’m almost sure. I know I was supposed to watch a critically aclaimed movie, and this isn’t one, but, eh, it has 69% on RottenTomatoes, so not so bad. Also! It’s stars James Franco. I liked the acting. I’m still dissapointed, that Emma stil does not have much to play. I’m not sure if she’s just okay at acting, or she takes parts of empty blonds. I still love her, it’s just... it’s getting harder and harder to watch her as not charismatic characters. Anyway, I liked the acting, even much. I’m not sure if the actor playing Teddy (Val Kilmer’s son! and Val KIlmer played April’s father xD) was playing him self, but I’m happy with what I got. The same goes for Fred, the coach and April’s father. Finally after these few dissapointing movies, I got something, that dind’t speak to me much, but at least I liked the characters and had fun watching them get better, or worse, or not changing, or having a quick cameo. 

The story was... okay. But connected to this characters, I don’t really have much to complain. The tempo was a bit slow with April’s story, and a bit to fast with Teddy’s. Like The Art of Getting By (2011), this movie crossed a bit the thin line, of being too pretencional. But this doesn’t botter me that much.

Favorite quote:

April: I'm not depressed, why do you always think I'm depressed? I'm just tired.

Day 7: It’s kind of a funny story (2010)

I absolutely loved this movie! It took me from teh beginning with that scene on the bridge. Totally my kind of humor. The main character was easy to equate with, at least for me, like, being a bit assholish on the beginnig, and then turning in a fully good and  empathetic person. The perfect character arc for a feel good movie, like this one. It hit me by suprise, how good it was. The movie has average ratings and is rotten on RottenTomatoes. I know why, but the things, that for others were a flaw, for me was a good quality. I dind’t read the reviews, but I saw flaws in the movie, and in the story. I know, I know, it’s a basic story, a bit (maybe a lot) predictable even. But I turned my brain off for one and a half hour and had a lot of fun. The charachters where, no, seamed 3-dimensional. Everyone, at some point even. I totally believed, these are not actors, these are people. Especially the main trio, obviosly. I dind’t know  Zach Galifianakis can play something more then a stupid fat guy, by playing a not so stupid fat guy with problems. And Emma, still not what I’m expecting from her, but a lot better, then the other movies I guess (with exceptions of course). Even Craigs parents felt so real, and his friend and his love interest in the beginning. The main advantage of the movie is, that, as I pointed out earlier, it makes you feel better. It made me thing, that there is something more for me, that I don’t have to be this sad, fat guy, working and sitting by the computer all the time. Also the acting, OMC. It was great. How thought, to bring Viola Davis to this project? Great idea, even for these few minutes. But, yeah, I also pointed that out already. And, I liked, how the movie was directed. The scene, where they sang together, fabulous.

So what’s the flaws? It was predictable, if you just try to think a little. I dind’t realise that, till after the movie. Also, some characters, from being fine written, turned to flat characters, to drive the plot. Yes, I mean Nia, that was so unnecessary. It was just so Noelle would get mad at Craig. And will winning Noelle back be hard? It’s gonna be (quoting the screenwriter from Pitch Meeting) “super easy! Barely an inconvenience.” Which is dissapointing. 

Favorite quote:

Craig: Do you like music?

Noelle: Do you like breathing?

Bonus: A few words about Channel and whole Scream Qeens (2015-2016)

This series also took me by suprise, a bit. I loved Ariana Grande at that time, but since she quitted acting, and got mostly into music, I started to watch this show. And, as dissapointing as it was at that time, Chanel #2 was killed in the first episode. But since this was a slasher, and I do love those, I stayed. Who am I kidding. It dind’t stay because of the killing, but because of the story, characters and humor mostly. Jamie Lee Curtis is a wonderful actress and watching her going “against” bitchy Emma Roberts, was like watching a unicorn... I don’t a good compare, but you get it. It was extreamly entertaining. The world building, so caricature, it was so fun. Chanel killing a random lady? Yes please. These show was filled with mains driving the series with just themselfs and the sideones adding to it a lot. Even if they get killed eventually. Obviously the first season was way better, then the second. But the second was even more bizzare, which recompensed a bit the flaws of it. Do I like the decisions, who got the be the killers in both seasons? Yes, of course! For example, the chemistry between Dr. Cassidy and Chanel #3 was great in the second half of the second season. Just awesome.

Oh, yeah, a few more about Chanel. Wonderful, stole every scene she was in. Not a character, you could lift a show on, but the definietly good to be one of the mains.

Favorite quote:

Chanel: Good morning, sluts.

Chanel #2, #3 and #5: Good morning, Chanel

Like I could pick any other, than this.

--

So what do I think about Emma in the end?

She’s not a great, but a good actress, she could lift the whole movie, if she get’s a good character to play, like in Wild Child (2008), which was not much, but she was still a teenager then, and made it. 

Do I see her in drama roles?

Yes, actually. I love her, when she plays bitchy, charismatic, or even psycho characters, because she’s great at it, but I still want to see her other side. A hard part to play, in which she can shock everyone in how good of an actress she is. She didn’t have the chance yet.

I hope she gets more lucky and popular at some time. She’s still under 30 (28 years old), so she has most of her live before her, and already an impressive filmography. I wish her all the best.

[imagineonlyproductions-blog]

In One Sitting - Rocky *Spoilers*

Today I watched all 6 Rocky films in one sitting. Shiznits this was a ride!!!!

Rocky (1976)

What a great introduction to a character. I thought that the movie was going to be all training and all fighting. It was great to see the time that was put into developing him as a person. Most of this development was done through quiet scenes of reflection. Rocky walks the streets of Philadelphia throughout the entire film. These quiet moments put us into his shoes as he does the job that he is good at but that isn’t who he is, as he stops at the pet store to talk to Adrian, and as he visits with the various groups of people who hang out on the streets at night. Rocky is a man of the people and that is made abundantly clear during the film’s run time. 

When we finally get to the training and the fighting, we really feel like Rocky has built himself up mentally for this. He needs this opportunity. He needs to be more than he is. He’s not a “bum”.

The fight with Apollo Creed is a tense brawl. Few movies give you such palpable and gritty fighting anymore. 

After all of the build up, we are connected to Rocky as a man. We know what this fight means to him. It means leaving the life of mediocrity and becoming a legend. It really doesn’t matter that he doesn’t win the fight. What’s great is that the filmmakers know this and don’t even try to take away any of his glory. The announcer calls Creed the winner, but this audio is just barely in the background. We hear Rocky yelling for Adrian, they kiss, she says she loves him, and the film ends. Perfection.

Rocky II (1979)

Deezamn! I didn’t think that first movie was going to be topped so quickly! Rocky II is a great follow-up to the first film and is a perfect representation of what is gained from watching a series in one sitting. This movie picks up right where the first left off. This felt like watching the next episode of a television show and it was very appreciated.

What we didn’t care to deal with in the first film, is dealt with here. We see the aftermath of their fight and we see how even though Apollo Creed was the winner, he still lost. The fight is tearing him apart, but as usual, Rocky is being positive. He treats his wife to a new home and fancy clothes. Sure he is spending way too much, but as we’ve seen in the past film, he’s earned a bit of splurging. 

Creed shows his true colors here. I like that unlike in most films, they don’t have a point where they sit down and explain Creed’s tactics of boasting to the cameras. We know he wants to defend his title and even though Rocky isn’t always understanding why Creed is being so aggressive, the film respects us enough to see through the facade. His character is clearly mimicking Mohammad Ali with his taunting. 

Again, when Rocky decides to go back to fight Creed, we see the filmmakers’ ability to trust the audience. There isn’t a point where Rocky talks about how hard it is for him to train knowing that Adrian isn’t happy with him. We get it! When she goes into a coma and comes out of it in full support of Rocky, we see his rise in enthusiasm. More filmmakers need to trust their audience to fill in the blanks without lengthy scenes of dialogue. 

The final fight here is even better than the last. This is the most greasy fighting I've ever seen! I was losing my mind the whole time. I’m not even into sports, but I was jumping around and yelling at the screen like I was watching a real fight. The slow motion was used effectively with the closeups to show us how powerful these punches are, and when that final count is going on, I felt like my soul was going to launch out of my body because the suspense was so palpable! 

I can’t wait for the next movie!!

Rocky III (1982)

THE EYE OF THE TIGER!!!!

They must have paid a lot of money for that song because they didn’t stop saying “Eye of the Tiger” for more than ten minutes in this movie!

Rocky III was good, but definitely suffered from the inability to give us a BIGGER challenge for Rocky to overcome. Technically, Clubber Lang was a more powerful opponent than Apollo Creed. The issue is that the first two films involve Rocky climbing to the top from the bottom. Seeing a man at the top get beat once then win the second time just isn’t as gripping as it was before. 

The final fight was exciting, but when he won, I wasn’t surprised. The stakes just weren’t there because we had seen what he could do twice before.

The real star of this movie was his relationship with Adrian. I love how much they grow in each film. After the awesome montage with that awesome song, we see the two of them in bed singing a song. Their relationship has never felt forced in three movies. I love them as a couple and when she gives him the big pep talk, she solidifies her place in his story. She is the reason he gets up in the morning. She has become such a strong figure from the timid individual she was in the beginning. 

In the end, Rocky III was entertaining, but it has nothing on Rocky II. NEXT!

Rocky IV (1985)

Wow, what a passive aggressive film! 

I see the irony in that statement, yet it stands. This was a very entertaining film in context with the others, but it is clearly fueled by so much passive agression toward Russia that existed at the time. Just having Drago say “He’s not human. He’s like a piece of iron” says it all. Rocky trained like a man. Drago was indoors using machinery AND he’s been doping! 

Speaking of training; that’s like 80% of this movie! The montages are great for sure, but they have twice as many as the previous film. Like I said, in the context of seeing all of these in one sitting, this movie was very entertaining. It felt like an action-packed 4th episode of a TV series. Unfortunately, as a film on its own, it lacked the substance that the previous films had. 

There was little to no character development. Adrian rightfully had no reason to support this needless fight, but comes back later in support of it for no reason. Rocky himself had told Creed that he didn’t need to fight to prove anything. What if Rocky HAD died? Would it have been worth it?

The point of the film was the message toward Russia. Like I said, I enjoyed the fighting, but it was so clearly just about the Russians hating Rocky in the ring even though the Americans booed Drago too. The announcers talked about it like Russians booing was hateful. Then Rocky gives his big speech about change and everybody loves him. 

The level of development was lower than III but the action was about on par, so I’d have to say this one wasn’t all that great unfortunately. There was a lot of distraction. From the long montages to the long musical numbers, they really dropped the ball here. I’m confident that this is just a low point though. They’ll pick it back up!

Rocky V (1990)

ALRIGHT! They really listened! The best parts of Rocky are the characters and the slow moments! This movie was definitely a return to form.

It was odd that Rocky’s son grew like 4 years in the time it took Rocky to fly home from Russia, but I’m glad that he was a major focus of the film. Rocky has been a dad for a while now, but his kid was never a big part of the story. This was a welcome change. I really didn’t mind the additional characters that took up the spotlight here.

I gotta say, I REALLY loved this one! This is the most underrated Rocky movie! This movie gets lower reviews than II and IV! This movie was a great change of pace and was a logical arc for the character. 

The ending fight with Tommy was absolutely perfect. IF they had made him go back into the ring for a big match in front of the world, it would have felt forced and unrealistic. This was the best way to hash out this conflict.

All in all, Rocky V is my third favorite out of this franchise so far. Let’s see if the next and final film can change the order here.

Rocky Balboa (2006)

What a finale! Rocky Balboa was a wonderful conclusion to the series! 

Like Rocky V, the film focused most of its attention on the character an not on the fighting. This film had some of the most powerful moments in the franchise, including the scene where Pauly regrets how he treated the now deceased Adrian.

I’m glad that the fighting and training was done realistically enough. Sure, there were parts here that felt a bit contrive, but in general, I believed that a man his age was able to hold his own in this fight. They didn’t just edit around his age like the Taken franchise.

Rocky Balboa was a thrilling and emotional end to the franchise. I’m very glad that I spent the day binging the series.

Let me know what suggestions ya’ll have for future In One Sittings. I do this because sometimes you have to see the whole story in one to really appreciate it. In my experience movies like Spider-Man 3 and X-Men 3 The Last Stand aren’t even THAT bad when put into the context of a single story. I look forward to the next review. Now I’m going to bed!